1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪

2
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D'

3
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,101
Aah!

4
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,554
When Krusty wants to,
he can still blow them away.

5
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,765
Yes, he can take a simple,
everyday thing

6
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,892
like eating a bicycle
and make it funny.

7
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:01,936
See you tomorrow, kids.

8
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,814
But before I go,
I'd just like to say...

9
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:10,153
♪♪

10
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,910
There's nothing better
than a cigarette,

11
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unless it's a cigarette
lit with a hundred-dollar bill.

12
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,082
Put 5,000 bucks on the Lakers.

13
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,893
Hire Kenny G. To play
for me in the elevator.

14
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,397
My house is dirty,
buy me a clean one.

15
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,880
Krusty, as your accountant,
I must warn you...

16
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,424
Did you send those 1,000 roses
to Bea Arthur's grave?

17
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,884
Yes, but she's still...

18
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,886
I don't want to hear
the end of any sentences.

19
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,054
George Carlin on three.

20
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,889
Yeah? Lawsuit?

21
00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,390
Come on.

22
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,993
My "Seven words you can't
say on TV" bit

23
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was entirely different

24
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:45,396
from your "Seven words you can't
say on TV" bit.

25
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,856
So I'm a thief, am I?

26
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,443
Well, excuse me!

27
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,861
Give him ten grand.

28
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,946
Steve Martin on four.

29
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Ten grand.

30
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Krusty, in regards

31
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to the large wager you made
on yesterday's horse race.

32
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Come on, how about letting
me go double or nothing

33
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,248
on the big opera tonight.

34
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,958
- Who do you like?
- The tenor.

35
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,960
Okay,

36
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,545
but we're only
letting the bet ride

37
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,506
because you crack us
so consistently up.

38
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,969
You've got to stop blowing
your money like this, Krusty.

39
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,052
No can do.

40
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,850
And those ridiculous
bets you make.

41
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,935
Gambling is the finest thing
a person can do

42
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if he's good at it.

43
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,915
But you haven't won anything
in months.

44
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,857
So I'll just make
some more money.

45
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,608
Crank out some
cheesy merchandise.

46
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,372
But you've already
merchandized everything.

47
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:33,820
Krusty's Monopoly game.

48
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,905
The Krusty crowd control
barrier.

49
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,157
Nothing is selling anymore.

50
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,367
Not even your new
Lady Krusty line.

51
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,828
But our infomercials
are running 24 hours a day.

52
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,956
So what do you think

53
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,917
of the Lady Krusty moustache
removal system now, Angelique?

54
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,378
It's Krusteriffic,
Johnny Unitas.

55
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,881
But is my upper lip
supposed to bleed like this?

56
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,507
Probably.

57
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,509
At this rate,
you'll be broke in a month.

58
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,970
The only thing left to do
is to open a clown college

59
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,847
and train some
regional Krusties.

60
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,474
You mean like that bozo,
Bonko the Clown?

61
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,310
- Exactly.
- Forget it.

62
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,937
I'll just cut back
on the condor egg omelets.

63
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,857
A couple of those
would be tasty right now.

64
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I'll found the college tomorrow.

65
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,326
It must be
the first of the month.

66
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,869
New billboard day!

67
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:30,959
Finders keepers.

68
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,883
"This year, give her
English muffins."

69
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,801
Whatever you say,
Mr. Billboard.

70
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:45,725
"Best in the West."

71
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,894
That rhymes.

72
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,941
Clown college?

73
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,734
You can't eat that.

74
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,863
Well, I got everything
I was supposed to get.

75
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,491
I'm not going to enroll
in that clown college, though.

76
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:05,453
That advertisement
had no effect on me whatsoever.

77
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,341
Hey, Homer, the section

78
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,144
you're supposed
to be monitoring is on fire.

79
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,896
Clowns are funny.

80
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,324
Mom?

81
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,076
I think I'll have some wine.

82
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,167
Marge...

83
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,252
Yes, Homey?

84
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,463
That's it.

85
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,941
You people have stood
in my way long enough.

86
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,634
I'm going to clown college.

87
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,680
I don't think any of us
expected him to say that.

88
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,266
Hurry up.

89
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:09,851
It's my first day
of clown college.

90
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,061
Hold still, Homer.
Don't squirm.

91
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,273
I am holding still.
I am squirming.

92
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,984
Dad, you can't just go around
pretending to be Krusty.

93
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:18,985
It's sacrilege.

94
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,278
He's a one and only.

95
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,988
I mean, he invented
the pie fight,

96
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,906
the pratfall,
and the seltzer bottle.

97
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,074
As far as I know.

98
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,701
Yeah, Dad, it was bad enough

99
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,429
when you tried to pass
yourself off as Tom Bosley.

100
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,121
But Krusty?

101
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,749
You weren't complaining
when I got you this close

102
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,500
to Chachi.

103
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,169
What's a Chachi?

104
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:43,551
All right. There can only be
one Krusty in each territory,

105
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,762
so I hope this works out.

106
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,180
Tell me where you're from.

107
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,639
- Georgia.
- Texas.

108
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,017
Brooklyn.

109
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,018
Russia.

110
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,019
New Hampshire.

111
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,354
Homer.

112
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,189
Okay, we'll start
off with the baggy...

113
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,357
What?

114
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,876
Those are supposed
to be baggy pants.

115
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,234
Baggy!

116
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,237
Ooh, I've never had
a pair of pants

117
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,490
that fit this well in my life.

118
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,993
Okay, memorize these
funny place names.

119
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,087
Stop it, you're killing me!

120
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,214
Seattle!

121
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,263
And now, everybody's favorite:

122
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the Spin Cycle
Fantastique trick.

123
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It's a great piece of buffoonery
if you pull it off.

124
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,605
But if you blow it,
you'll look like a fool.

125
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Steady...

126
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,193
Steady.

127
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,074
Now, when the wealthy
dowager comes in,

128
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,617
the party's over, right?

129
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,868
Wrong!

130
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,789
Kill wealthy dowager.

131
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,881
Burn that seat.

132
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,717
These Krusty brand balloons
are three bucks each.

133
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,970
But get a cheap one
and what happens?

134
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:12,098
Goes off, takes out the eyeballs
of every kid in the room.

135
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,975
What's that gonna cost you?

136
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,435
Hey, Bill, what did
that cost us?

137
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:40,293
Wow! I'm sorry I doubted
you before, Dad.

138
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,919
If there has to be

139
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,897
a bastardized version of Krusty,
I'm glad it's you.

140
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,673
Thanks, honey. Bank shot.

141
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:46,883
Wow!

142
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,551
That's good aim, Dad.

143
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,386
Well, it was my major.

144
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,265
Welcome to the noble family
of skilled Krustaceans.

145
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,851
You will now go back
to your hometowns

146
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,353
and do kids' parties,
swap meets,

147
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,355
and all the other piddling crap

148
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,233
I wouldn't touch
with a ten-foot clown pole.

149
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,235
Now come and get
your cat skins...

150
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,237
I mean sheep skins.

151
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,329
This is the happiest
day of my life...

152
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,666
Got it.
No shock for me.

153
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,793
Yeah?

154
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:38,184
And now to help introduce
our fantastic new burger,

155
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,019
the one with ketchup,

156
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:43,439
here he is,
coming in by parachute,

157
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,607
Krusty the Clown!

158
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,418
"To audience.

159
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:08,464
"I now proclaim
this new burger...

160
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,174
For sale!"

161
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,060
Lord, save me.

162
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,983
It's the Krusty burglar.

163
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,279
My God.
He's stealing all the burgers!

164
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,280
Why, you little!

165
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,864
I've got you!

166
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,284
Homer!

167
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,578
It's... It's...
It's all just an act.

168
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,745
Stop!

169
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,372
Stop!

170
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,416
He's already dead!

171
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,001
Let go!

172
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,295
Get him!
Get him!

173
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,839
Krusty the Clown, everybody!

174
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:56,262
Please look at my MedicAlert bracelet.

175
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,021
Yah! Ooh!

176
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,816
Hey. Hey.

177
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,654
And then, take that

178
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,948
and put that in there,
and you...

179
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,368
There's your giraffe,
little girl.

180
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,494
I'm a boy.

181
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,746
That's the spirit.

182
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,456
Never give up.

183
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,833
I guess you're pretty impressed,
Bart?

184
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:28,252
My dad got Krusty the Clown

185
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,087
to personally appear
at my party.

186
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,049
I have a feeling I could get him
to appear at my house.

187
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,842
I don't know, Bart.

188
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,719
My dad's a pretty big wheel

189
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,513
down at the cracker factory.

190
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,731
It's not
5:30 yet.

191
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,619
- Hey, nice threads.
- I'm beat.

192
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:04,747
And after work,
I got to dedicate a new Jiffy Lube

193
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,874
and cohost the Ace awards.

194
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,626
Wow! Jiffy Lube!

195
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,461
Boy, you're really
running yourself ragged.

196
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,714
Yeah. When I started
this clown thing,

197
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,883
I thought it would be
nothing but glory.

198
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:18,886
You know, the glory
of being a clown?

199
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:22,973
But I tell you,
it's hard, tiring work.

200
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:26,477
But when I see the smiles
on their little faces,

201
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,855
I just know they're getting
ready to jab me with something.

202
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,736
My time's almost up here,
so I'd just like to say

203
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:36,862
I know Woody Allen.

204
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,702
And now the winner
for the most promising

205
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,620
new series on cable...

206
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,497
Old "Starsky and Hutches."

207
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,124
♪♪

208
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,792
Accepting the award

209
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,002
is the son of the guy
who played Huggy Bear.

210
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,342
Let's walk and talk.

211
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,885
I have some wonderful stories

212
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,905
about other famous people
that include me in some way.

213
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,223
Can't. I gotta go distract
bulls at a rodeo.

214
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,766
Hey, me, too.
We can go together.

215
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,394
No, I'm going a different way

216
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,729
than you, Dick.

217
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,439
Your churlish
attitude reminds me

218
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,282
of a time I was having
dinner with Groucho...

219
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,085
Look, you're gonna be having
dinner with Groucho tonight

220
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,109
if you don't beat it.

221
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,157
Being a clown sucks.

222
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,576
You get kicked by kids,
bit by dogs,

223
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,202
and admired by the elderly.

224
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,454
Who am I clowning?

225
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,414
I have no business
being a clown.

226
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,040
I'm leaving
the clowning business

227
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,044
to all the other clowns
in the clowning business.

228
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,587
No.

229
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,590
Well, well, well, velocity boy.

230
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,633
I'm gonna give you the
biggest ticket you...

231
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,343
Hey! Krusty!

232
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,970
I'm not Krusty.

233
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,889
To think I was going
to give you a ticket!

234
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:45,890
Krusty the Clown!

235
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,141
I am not Krusty!

236
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:48,476
Hey, Krusty, Krusty,

237
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,060
you remember that time
we got loaded

238
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,520
and set those beavers loose

239
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,147
in that pine furniture store?

240
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,484
Memories.

241
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,694
All right, you take
it easy, Krusty.

242
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,073
Hey, he didn't give me a ticket.

243
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:06,118
This is
an intriguing development.

244
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,704
You mean I get five percent off
on everything in the store

245
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,331
just because I look like...

246
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,209
I mean, just because
I am Krusty the Clown?

247
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,668
How could I charge full price

248
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,879
to the man whose lust
for filthy magazines

249
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,673
kept me in business during
that first shaky year?

250
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:23,344
By the way, here is your new issue
of "Gigantic Asses".

251
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:25,221
I'm telling you, Marge,
this will work.

252
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,115
They'll think I'm Krusty
and give us free stuff.

253
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,099
I've been getting
free stuff all day.

254
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,310
Look at this swell bucket
of house paint.

255
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,686
Look at it.

256
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,104
I'm not saying it won't work.

257
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,428
I'm just saying it's dishonest.

258
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,025
Well. If we agree,
then why are we arguing?

259
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,569
Hey, Krusty!

260
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,989
Hey, ooh, beautiful
date tonight?

261
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,867
And such lovely
children you have.

262
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,202
I'm more striking than lovely.

263
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,663
You come a-with me.
Come with Luigi.

264
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,331
You don't want to sit

265
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,958
with the rest of this a-scum.

266
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,545
I only consider you scum

267
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,088
compared to Krusty.

268
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,715
- Well, all right.
- Well, okay.

269
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,175
Yeah, you see how you scum.

270
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,430
Let me get this straight.

271
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,325
You took all the money you made
franchising your name

272
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,518
and bet it against
the Harlem Globetrotters?

273
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,688
I thought the Generals were due.

274
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,526
He's spinning the ball
on his finger!

275
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:21,735
Just take it!

276
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:22,862
Take the ball!

277
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,074
That game was fixed.

278
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,994
They were using a freakin' ladder
for God sakes.

279
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:34,081
I am afraid the time has come
for you to pay us.

280
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:35,164
Look, I'm cleaned out.

281
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,084
Just take the clown college.

282
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,586
We have already taken it.

283
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,671
Kids have a lot
of money these days

284
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,381
so after you finish
your performance,

285
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,744
you might consider robbing them.

286
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:45,885
Look, what can I tell you?

287
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,761
You can't get blood
from a turnip.

288
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,931
You want to kill me,
go ahead and kill me.

289
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,726
Hey, hey, all right,
okay already!

290
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,769
Look, we can talk this over.

291
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,062
No more talk.

292
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,024
It is time for us
to take you for a ride.

293
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,692
No!

294
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:04,153
Mind if I go
to the bathroom first?

295
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:07,031
I see no harm in that.

296
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,500
When he's done in there,
I got to go.

297
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,841
Okay, wherever Krusty's gone,
we'll find him.

298
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,843
Legs, you check out
the east side.

299
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,803
Louie, Rome and Budapest.

300
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,556
Tell the boys I want
a total world search.

301
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,558
- Right, boss.
- Right, boss.

302
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,477
I want a free car
because I'm Krusty.

303
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,395
Krusty the Clown!

304
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,479
Get it?

305
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,106
Krusty.

306
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,278
Cancel the world search.

307
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,698
I want everything that's
coming to Krusty the Clown,

308
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,868
which is me, Krusty.

309
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,620
Hey, it's Krusty, all right.

310
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:57,081
Should I shoot him
gangland style

311
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,457
or execution style?

312
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,335
Listen to your heart.

313
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,128
Well, I can't give
you the car, Krusty.

314
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,838
But I can let you have
this little number

315
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,466
for practically nothing...
Only 38,000.

316
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,428
Hey, what are all these holes?

317
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,490
These are speed holes.
They make the car go faster.

318
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,225
Yeah. Speed holes.

319
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,604
You want my advice?

320
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,968
I think you should buy this car.

321
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,191
We need more ammo.

322
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,274
Let's go to Big 5.

323
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:30,114
Krusty, your plastic surgery
is complete.

324
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,991
When I remove the bandages

325
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,284
don't be alarmed by
the total stranger

326
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,411
staring back at you.

327
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,583
I look exactly the same,
you moron!

328
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,377
Nonsense, Krusty.

329
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,900
You look at least ten years younger,
plus, I did your breasts.

330
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,424
Does anyone hear me complaining
about the breasts?

331
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,300
What's the use in hiding?

332
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,262
I got to go back to Springfield
and face the music.

333
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,347
Can you loan me bus fare?

334
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,724
Hey, hey, hey!

335
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,106
What you
diddley-doing, neighbor?

336
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,733
Putting speed holes in my car.

337
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,109
Makes it go faster.

338
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,485
Is that so?

339
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,654
Gee, maybe the old
Flanders-mobile could use...

340
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,910
Wow! Lucky I always keep
a bible close to my heart.

341
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,083
Lucky I was wearing
an extra-large piece

342
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,544
of the true cross today.

343
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,670
I think I'll go inside.

344
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,008
What keeps doing that?

345
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,385
I told you we should have bought
more than three bullets.

346
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,512
Let's just grab him.

347
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,185
But wait, you can't kill me
for being Krusty.

348
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,186
I'm not him.

349
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,729
I'm Homer Simpson.

350
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,452
The same Homer Simpson
who crashed his car

351
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,899
through the wall of our club?

352
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,609
Actually, my name is Barney.

353
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:49,985
Yeah, Barney Gumble.

354
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,403
The same Barney Gumble

355
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,781
who keeps taking pictures
of my sister?

356
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,824
Actually, my real name is...

357
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,077
Think, Krusty, think...
Joe Valachi.

358
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,537
The same Joe Valachi who squealed
to the senate committee

359
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,039
about organized crime?

360
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:03,207
Benedict Arnold.

361
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,958
The same Benedict Arnold
who plotted

362
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,561
to surrender West Point
to the hated British?

363
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,585
D'

364
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,802
I am so glad I had
a chance to meet you

365
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:19,598
before we did this, Krusty,
because I am a great fan.

366
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,476
Don Vittorio DiMaggio.

367
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,561
Krusty the Clown.

368
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:28,107
Sorry I have to do this, Krusty.

369
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,569
I cannot do it.

370
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,447
To murder a funny man
of such genius

371
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,907
would be a crime.

372
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,077
Tell you what, Krusty.

373
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,204
Do for me my favorite trick,

374
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,748
where you ride the little bike
through the loop

375
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,834
and I will let you live.

376
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,919
But I've never been
able to do the...

377
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,314
Hey, how about if I just squirt you
in the face with my boutonniere?

378
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,339
Okay.

379
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,968
I'll never be able
to do this trick.

380
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,928
- Never.
- Go! Go!

381
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,515
Hey!

382
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,517
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it!

383
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,019
I'm the greatest clown
in the world!

384
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,945
Ta-da!

385
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:18,073
The fact that you did not
do the trick well

386
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,742
is the biggest insult of all.

387
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,329
Hey, guys, I came to...

388
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,331
You've got a deadly game
of cat and mouse going.

389
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,792
I'll come back.

390
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,503
I'm seeing double here.
Four Krusties.

391
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,838
Krusty!

392
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,464
Thanks! Thanks a lot!

393
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,508
You came here to save me!

394
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,219
Yeah, that's what I did.

395
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,847
My apologies to you.

396
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:45,058
I almost made a grievous error.

397
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,643
Good-bye, Krusty.

398
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,562
Wait! He can't kill anybody

399
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,485
if he doesn't know
which one's the real Krusty.

400
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,858
Whoa!

401
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,443
Hup, ha ha!

402
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,820
I am confused.

403
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,114
Heh-heh.
Good one, Krusty.

404
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,741
Crap.

405
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:03,827
Because of that
disrespectful display,

406
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,205
I shall now kill both of you.

407
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:08,498
Unless...

408
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,293
you both go through the loop

409
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,586
together.

410
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:22,930
I can't see, you idiot!

411
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,598
Take your hands off my eyes.

412
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:28,852
Ooh!

413
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:35,859
Aah!

414
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:43,617
- Hey!
- Hey!

415
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,868
Not bad.

416
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,329
Without the loop, it is nothing.

417
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:50,749
Whoa!

418
00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,715
♪ Ta-da! ♪

419
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:04,680
Yay, Krusties!

420
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,139
- Ha-ha.
- Hey, hey.

421
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,933
Grazie, grazie.

422
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:12,104
You have brought great joy
to this old Italian stereotype.

423
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,106
No, no, Don Vittorio,
you're not...

424
00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,107
Yes, I am.

425
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,441
I know it, I am.

426
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:18,986
Anyway, thank you, Krusty.

427
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:19,987
You're welcome.

428
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,780
So we're even now?

429
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:24,032
No, we just won't kill you.

430
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,493
But you still owe us the money.

431
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:28,787
Forty-eight dollars.

432
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:29,955
Here's 50.

433
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:32,124
And two your change.

434
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,333
And we thank you.

435
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,633
♪♪

436
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,678
Shh.

437
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,559
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.


